A Motley of Capital Magic
by liannimation
Summary: Harry Potter is out on the loose. The minx. A series of intriguing concepts written and concieved by the minxes four: that's four people. Escapades and tryst. Reviews galore.
1. The Preface to a New Beginning

Introduction: The Preface to a New Beginning.

Please try to be aware of obscenities and somewhat disturbing events in the following pieces.

Written by four separate entities, and in class, so forgive the choppy sentence structure and plotline. We thought it was the best way to post this here. It is flagrant and mightily amusing.

This is a series of short stories, which will never really end. Harry and his gang vs. us, the minxes four (you will see the word 'minx' used repeatedly.) We promise you, you will not have to endure a disaster, so enjoy it! Reviews are nice.

And we know it is a very short introduction.

-LiAnn & Co.


	2. The Destruction of Old Voldy take 1

_The Destruction of Old Voldy (take 1)_

Authors Note: This is the one that started it all. Courtesy of LiAnn (who's account this is woot)

Bear with me, I now present to you my many adventures in the magical world of J.K. Rowling (accompanied by Harry Potter himself, mind you.) Consider it another birthday present.

It just so happens that my summer wasn't quite as dreadful as I thought it'd be. Incidentally, I was lounging in my room one June evening, basking in my gluttony, when what do you know! Harry Potter was hovering right outside my window!

Appalled, I rubbed my eyes in disbelief. Could this really be _the _Harry Potter? The one in storybooks that I longed for to be real for all these years? Surely not.

But it was.

So, to his surprise, I jumped on his broom and told him to take off (!)

"What! Who are you? Why have you jumped on my broom, you silly girl?" he asked me in disbelief.

"You were outside my window, you blasted minx," said I, pinching his cheek.

Unable to withstand my sauciness, he shrugged and took off.

How delighted I was, sitting on a broomstick. And behind Harry Potter. Those green eyes, that black hair--what a babe (and he knew it, the git.)

Diagon Alley was visable after what seemed like two hours, six minutes and twenty-two seconds (an approximation, I promise.) After landing, he brought me to the Three Broomsticks.

"So, why did you arrive out my window?" I questioned as I drank my butterbeer (good stuff.)

"Oh I dunno, I just thought I'd stir up my summer, eh?" and he wiggled his eyebrows.

"Oh yes." I left that particular subject at that.

After a few more rounds of butterbeer, I was feeling tipsy.

"I'm drunk. That's crap," I sniggered.

"Let's go find that Voldemort bloke and give 'im the ol' one-two!" Harry exclaimed.

"Right, then," and we were off.

Lord Voldemort, widely acclaimed dark wizard and enemy of that bashful boy whom i was running around with, was at the moment enjoying a scrumptious soak in the bath. Harry and I had set off directly to seek him out. Wasted as we were, we had no idea of the consequences.

We made only two stops (which were of course to shag it up ) and in no time, we had reached our objective.

And so it goes, we discovered old Voldy in a tub and he was so frightened by our drunken state that he died of shock on-the-spot.

This tale of mine shall surely live on until the end of time. How Harry Potter and his saucy saucy companion shook things up for themselves and the Dark Lord. Harry Potter still makes regular trips to my bedroom and we shall live happily ever after. So shall Margie (for she shall later be involved with that beast, RONALD WEASLEY!)

The End.


	3. One Too Many Butterbeers take 2

_One Too Many Butterbeers (take 2)_

This is in letter form to LiAnn. Written by Margie (minx #2.)

Dear LiAnn,

I vaguely remember you telling me of that glorious rendezvous a short while ago (glorious for you, of course). But the one I remember good and well is the one where we went with Ron and Harry. For some reason, though, I don't believe you would remember this one quite as well for you had a few too many butterbeers! Oops!

Right-o! On to the tale (true tale)!

I recall that I was at your house around, say 11 PM, and Harry and Ron popped up at your bedroom window on their brooms! (This excursion is about to be told obviously after your rendezvous with Harry).

It was quite fortunate I was there also, for who would sit behind Ron on his broom? Hehe!

Anyway, Ron and Harry took us to Diagon Alley where we ended up bumping into Hagrid and Madame Maxime (headmaster of Beauxbatons, of course) at none other than the Three Broomsticks.

We said hi and goodbye rather rapidly (Ron and Harry must have wanted to get their groove on). After our quick introduction to Hagrid and Madame Maxime, we got a few butterbeers, it's tradition after all ;-) ! (At this point you had had a few more butterbeers than needed, I believe).

On our way out, I ran into Hermione, literally. I think she was slightly mad, ya know? Maybe because Harry and Ron hadn't invited her? Or was it because I was with Ron? I think that was it, Harry and Ron forgot to invite her.

Besides the point, she was all cream and sugar talking to Harry, "Hi Harry!" Then to Ron (who is my lover as you should know), disgustedly, she said simply, "Ron." I could tell she was dreadfully unhappy. Oh dear and Oh well!

I believe she was with someone, Krum or something, and I was on Ron arm! Groovy for me! And of course you, you managed to shag the FAMOUS Harry Potter! Too bad for Cho, they had such a good chance until you came along!

Oh dear, I can't quite remember how it ended, but it must have been AHEM Groovy Baby!

If you do recall, tell me, would ya!

Love Always,

Margaret (aka Ron's lover)


	4. A Very Fortunate Event take 3

_A Very Fortunate Event (take 3) _

This is a short continuation and a lead into our next masterpiece. A card for Anna Bannanna (minx #4.)

As the audience knows, we left off at Harry Potter, and Ron Weasley's secret escapades with the minxy devils, Margaret and LiAnn. After a night of excessive shagging, the gang decided to call up the delicious (and moose-a-licious) Shelby and Anna. Anna was in a bar enjoying a few drinks with Seamus when, gasp, her magic galleon vibrated. "Come shag with us, darling," it read. Anna promptly grabbed the Irish fox and ran to join them. Meanwhile, Shelby was with a leather-clad Draco (having a fun time) when she received the same message.

So after about half and hour and 10 minutes, all eight were gathered at the LOVESHACK (you can fill in the rest). Anna soon grew bored with Seamus and ran off with HARRY and Ron. Margaret and LiAnn were left dumbfounded after discovering Anna the Banana had stolen their men. So they joined Shelby, Seamus, and Draco. Anna had too much sex and died.

Not really—read the next chappie for more adventure!

The END.

PS It was a wonderful five-some.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

with Love,

LiAnn, Margaret, and Shelby your three fabulous bitches.


	5. Would You Like to Touch My Wenis? take 4

Done during Spanish and Art class. A masterpiece mwah

The background of this highly unusual title is craaazy. During lunch, minx #2 was approached by a completely hot guy who then proceeded to ask if she wanted to touch his 'wenis'. You're wenis is apparently your elbow. Oh lord.

Ohh, please review; we'd be delighted.

A Continuation of the Horny Harry Potter Epic:

'_Would You Like to Touch My Wenis?' (take 4)_

As of now, written, conceived, and obsessed over by Margaret, LiAnn, and Shelby

Let's start off with a bang, shall we?

Anna Bannanna and Seamus were on the floor and very busy, when Anna's magic galleon vibrated. Grumbling, she grabbed her skirt and fished out the coin which read,

"Anna Bannanna, where are you, baby? We were supposed to meet in the Astronomy Tower for a little secret something. Hope to see very much of you soon.

Love, Margaret (gasp!)

Anna Bannanna slipped some sleeping potion into Seamus's drink (this was not the first time she had ever done this), and waited for him to fall asleep. When she was sure that he was out cold, she donned her pink leather mini-skirt and too-tight pink top and ran out in a flurry. Heart pumping as she reached the Astronomy Tower, she heard….French music?

There was Margaret, in plain view, scandalously dressed. Anna gasped.

"I've been waiting for you…" Margaret crooned saucily. Her voice was not her own, Anna realized. She searched for clues of the intruder that now obviously occupied Margaret (Ron!)

"Anna," said Margaret/Ron, "I need you help. You see, Ron and I were sort of, um, experimenting and…well, as of now, he's TRAPPED IN MY BODY GET HIM OUT! It's so very uncomfortable, you can't even imagine."

"Oh, not really, now…" Ron was cutting in every now and then. It was such schizophrenic and fantastic encounter, what was Anna to do? An idea struck her. She called the be-au-ties, Shelby and LiAnn.

When Shelby and LiAnn appeared in the doorway, they were astounded by the scene that greeted them: Margaret and Anna looking devilishly slutty together—alone.

"What…is going on…?" inquired LiAnn.

"Ron's trapped in Margaret, I don't know how, and he _is _being rather rude!" Anna said crossly, hastily covering her miniscule outfit.

"Oh goodness," Shelby said without missing a beat, "Then where the hell are Harry and Draco? We need them for this particular…um…occasion."

"Er, they're off doing their own…thing, as a matter of fact." LiAnn said uncomfortably, but at the same time with a naughty smirk. Apparently, the idea of Harry and Draco going at it was not a problematic issue for anyone in the room (including Ron).

"Margaret," Shelby asked, concerned, "How the hell did this happen?"

"Well," began Margaret, "Ron and I were experimenting with ahem long-distance shagging, and it worked at first, but something went hay-wire and now Ron can't get back to his body in Guam." (ooh, what has happened to Ron's body?)

"Guam?" Shelby asked incredulously, "Why were you in Guam?"

"Er…" Margaret/Ron said, uncomfortable.

"Never mind," Shelby shook her head, "I _don't_ want to know."

"Harry and Draco." LiAnn said dreamily as she laid back into a cushioned chair. Shelby shot her a disdainful look, but said nothing, as she was just as equally aroused by Harry and Draco's escapades. Besides, they needed to find them and make sure they didn't shag it up too much. So LiAnn and Shelby went off to fetch the other sex-crazed wizards. Out in the main hall, they realized they didn't know where to go.

"Where would two nasty boys have mad sex?" LiAnn asked rather thoughtfully.

"I dunno, try the Slytherin Common Room?"

I reached the Slytherin Common Room—no one. Ready to turn back, they heard a muffled giggle.

"That," declared Shelby, "Is the giggle of Harry Potter." They traced it to a broom cupboard and then very quickly and with a shout, they both wrenched the door open. A very pretty sight, if I may add. Ooh-la-la.

When the two returned with a barely-dressed Harry and Draco, they found Seamus, Margaret, Ron, and Anna Bannanna having a five-some in the Astronomy Tower…without them. Apparently, Ron and Margaret's little problem was solved. So, without a hint of acknowledgment, they joined the party and made the five-some into an orgy.

The event was quite fun and was getting a little rowdy when the occupants of the astronomy tower heard footsteps (oh!) They all turned invisible mad fast (with the help of a little spell.)

The intruder was getting awfully close, and soon the door was creaking open to reveal…

OLIVER WOOD! Beautiful Oliver. The group stared at him through many a sweaty brow and promptly pounced on him. One more person added to the wonderful, sex-crazed night in the Astronomy Tower! After the fun ended, and Harry and LiAnn were cozily back together, Margaret and Ron got in a fight.

"What the fudge, Ron! Did I just hear you correctly! You purposely got stuck in me? You bastard, are you _trying_ to hurt me?" Margaret, with her face shiny with tears (not just from anger), ran out of the room with gorgeous Oliver chasing after her.

Ron was left flabbergasted and bright red. So he ran off too and sobbed for quite some time. When he had recovered, he prepared to apologize. Sweeping back his hair, he bounded off to Margaret's room to find the love of his life and Oliver (beautiful Oliver, to emphasize) totally going at it and totally naked.

"Margaret!" He cried, "I still care about you!" And then he joined them.


End file.
